BAL

Man Who Said Sell Your Kidney Before Bitcoin Sells 32 BTC, Keeps Both Kidneys 🫘

I mean, to be fair, he didn't mean his kidney

BTC Got Within Slapping Distance Of $80K. Then Got Slapped. 👋

Regulators Have A Year To Define The Rules Which Means We'll Know What's Legal Around The Same Time We're Arrested for It 👮

Compliance speed-run: impossible difficulty.

The Most Beautifully Stupid Thing That Happened In Crypto Happened On Sunday 💇

A glorious crypto story

Watching My Portfolio Like A Hospice Nurse On A Double Shift 😶

We're just here to manage the pain now.

2025 Review: Crypto Got Everything It Wanted And Nearly Killed Us 💀

Well, almost everything

This Negative Is A Positive 🤔

Sometimes being negative is a good thing

Feels Like Climbing Out Of A Hole Then Falling Into Another, Deeper, And Meaner Hole 😶

Global uncertainty spiked, and crypto’s risk premium detonated. The table for two is full. Crypto’s standing at the coat rack.

Hackers Tripped Over Their Own Shoelaces 👟

Damage was lunch money. You still lock the door. Oh, and DOGE ETF coming Thursday?!

Fifty Shades Of Chainsaw: Crypto Bros Swap Dungeon For Ankle Monitors 🚨

I have no words. This is as funny as it is disturbing as it is unsurprising.

This Better Not Be An April Fool’s Joke 🤔

Heavy on the charts and on-chain analytics today, hooray

Crypto Bulls Tiptoe Back - Because Testing Waters Beats Drowning 🐂

Cautious, bullish, and wary price action