OVERVIEW

Man Who Said Sell Your Kidney Before Bitcoin Sells 32 BTC, Keeps Both Kidneys 🫘

Here’s What’s Happening 👇️

Today’s top trending tickers: Quantum Resistant Ledger, Ethereum, Helium, Internet Computer, and RENDER

Biggest winners: $H ( ▲ 74.88% ) , $WLD ( ▲ 27.11% ) , $SIREN ( ▲ 23.74% ) , $NEAR ( ▲ 16.76% ) , and $TON ( ▲ 13.95% )  

Biggest losers: $EDGE ( ▼ 4.85% ) , $ALGO ( ▼ 6.36% ) , $MNT ( ▼ 4.47% ) , $XMR ( ▼ 4.15% ) , and $ASTER ( ▼ 5.41% )

Before we dive in, here’s the total crypto market cap and altcoin market cap charts:

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NEWS
Saylor Keeps Kidney, Sells Bitcoin 😶

Michael Saylor once told people to sell their kidneys before selling $BTC ( ▼ 3.5% ). Last week his company sold Bitcoin.

$MSTR ( ▼ 5.85% ) disclosed in a June 1 filing that it sold 32 Bitcoin for about 2.5 million dollars during the week of May 26, at an average price near 77,135 dollars. It was the first time the company has sold any since December 2022. The proceeds go toward dividends on its preferred stock.

To keep things in perspective though, Strategy holds more than 818,000 Bitcoin. The sale was 0.004 percent of the bunch. Saylor said weeks ago he would probably sell some. Bitcoin fell below 71k and MSTR dropped more than five percent.

But Wait, There’s More!

There something else in the filing: Strategy sold 801,994 of its own shares for 128 million dollars net. The dividend money is not really coming from Bitcoin. It is coming from selling stock to people who buy the stock for Bitcoin exposure. The 32 coins were the costume. The share sale was the engine.

The 11.5 percent preferred yield does not care about conviction. It needs roughly 1.5 billion dollars a year, and someone/something has to pay it.

NEWS
Cardano Killed Its Own Party And Called It Progress 🤦

Man, $ADA ( ▼ 1.93% ) has just been a mixed bag for years. Case in point: the recent vote that resulted in no Cardano Summit 2026. Proof that decentralized governance works, but also no one wanted to fund the party.

The Cardano Foundation wanted 7.8 million ADA, about two million dollars, to throw the Cardano Summit 2026 in Singapore. The DReps said no. Not by much. The proposal pulled 65.21 percent stake-weighted approval, and the constitution demands a two-thirds supermajority for treasury withdrawals past a threshold.

It came up 1.46 percent short. Voting closed May 29. The Foundation conceded the next day.

It failed, but not for a lack of trying (well, maybe a bit a of lack). Charles Hoskinson and Foundation CEO Frederik Gregaard both lobbied for the proposal publicly in the final hours. The Foundation itself abstained from the vote. They lost anyway.

The community did not reject everything. EMURGO's smaller 3.3 million ADA sponsorship of a Cardano booth at TOKEN2049 cleared the same vote.

So the governance is real, but the thing it governs is mostly empty seats.

NEWS IN THREE SENTENCES
AI, Stablecoins, & Privacy News 🕵️

🧾 Hedera Hires Accenture To Make AI Agents Fill Out TPS Reports Before Touching The Money

Accenture joined the Hedera Council, giving the enterprise blockchain crowd another grown-up with a badge, a node, and equal voting rights. The firm will help govern Hedera while building trust-based tools for AI, financial services, government agencies, tokenization, and payments. The big idea is simple: agentic AI can automate the future, provided it first survives compliance, governance, audit trails, and 14 meetings about the word “trust.” Hedera.

💎 AI Jewelry Heiress Launches Instagram Career

Saga launched Crystal Beaumont, an AI influencer from GFAL’s mobile game Diamond Jewels, to help studios acquire users without shoveling endless cash into ad platforms. Crystal will start on Instagram before moving to TikTok and Facebook. Gaming has now reached the point where the marketing funnel wears jewelry, has lore, replies to comments, and may still respond faster than customer support. Saga.

💵 Dash’s Is All About Cash

Dash published a defense of digital cash, arguing that peer-to-peer money still matters while crypto keeps inventing collateral puzzles with dashboards and anxiety. The piece says true digital cash should be private, fungible, instant, cheap, permissionless, and not dependent on central bank money or stablecoin issuers. Wild thought: maybe digital money should work as money before becoming a 47-step yield contraption with bonus counterparty risk and a Discord moderator named “Treasury Chad.” Dash.

NEWS IN THREE SENTENCES
DeFi, DEX, & Lending News 🏦

🛑 Sui Mainnet Takes Three Brief Naps, Foundation Calls It A Learning Experience Like Parents After A Kitchen Fire

Sui explained 3 mainnet halts after its 1.72 upgrade, including 2 outages tied to gas-charging bugs and address balance edge cases. A third halt came from a randomness-state bug exposed during validator restarts and an epoch change, which sounds exactly as relaxing as it reads. Sui said no user funds were at risk and no committed transactions were reverted, offering the blockchain version of “the plane landed, please stop asking about the smoke.” Sui.

📊 Balancer Creates Liquidity Pools For People Who Don’t Want A Second Job Babysitting Price Ranges

Balancer introduced AutoRange Pools, a concentrated liquidity design that automatically adjusts ranges as markets move. The pools use their own trade history instead of oracles or keepers, giving LPs standard positions that work better across collateral, governance, and incentive programs. Balancer.

NEWS IN THREE SENTENCES
Protocol News 🏦

🎁 Litecoin Wallet Adds Gift Cards, Accidentally Reminds Everyone Crypto Can Buy Things

Nexus Wallet added gift card purchases inside its Litecoin app, letting LTC holders spend at major retailers without crawling back through TradFi like defeated pilgrims. The update builds on Flexa payments, MWEB privacy, Tor support, manual coin selection, and regular Litecoin send-receive-storage features. Litecoin.

🏔️ Avalanche Says So Projects Must Prove Their Users Aren’t Just Wallets In A Trench Coat

Avalanche Foundation rolled out Round 4 of Retro9000, its C-Chain retroactive rewards program for projects building on Avalanche. The update adds verified user tiers, meaning projects score better when real, connected, X-linked humans show up instead of random on-chain activity pretending to be community. Up to 10,000 AVAX is available, smaller projects get a fairer shot, and builders now have one more leaderboard to refresh. Avalanche.

OLD NEWS
Other Stuff That Happened Today, But A Long Ass Time Ago ⌛️

June 1

• 1494 - John Cor, a Monk, records the first batch of Scotch whisky.

• 1533 - Anne Boleyn is crowned Queen of England.

• 1792 - Kentucky becomes the 15th state of the United States.

• 1794 - Battle of the Glorious First of June, the first naval battle between Britain and France during the French Revolutionary wars occurs.

• 1796 - Tennessee becomes the 16th state of the United States.

• 1849 - The Territory of Minnesota is established.

• 1926 - Marilyn Monroe is born.

• 1962 - Adolf Eichmann is hanged.

• 1980 - CNN’s first broadcast.

• 1990 - US President George H. W. Bush and Soviet leader Mikhail Gorbachev sign a treaty to end chemical weapons production.

• 2001 - Crown Prince Dipendra of Nepal shoots and kills several members of his family, including his father and mother, in the Nepalese Royal Massacre.

• 2009 - GM files for Chapter 11 bankruptcy, fourth largest in US history.

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Author Disclosure: The author of this newsletter holds positions in AVAX, ADA, PUDGY, WLD, NEAR, INJ, LTC, LINK, ZEC, XLM, and FET. 📋