Market Somehow Pulls Ladder Out From Under Itself, Defies Science 🤔

"He was already up there. He just reached down and took it," said one bystander, still shaking.

So, June Sucked 🤔

Let's review the damage, but in a fun way.

Market Reminds Everyone It Loves Them Just Enough To Keep Hurting Them ❤️

Fear And Greed should be called Acceptance And Greed

Market Sends One 'Hey Stranger' And Man Deletes The Eleven-Paragraph Breakup Speech He'd Been Perfecting For Two Weeks 📆

Hear Ye, Hear Ye - The Screen Doth Run Green This Day 🥳

Feelings of merry-adjacent moods do rise today

Crypto Closes April Green, Joy Remains Unconfirmed 🤷

Winning never felt so, well, not winning

The SEC Brought The CFTC To Dinner And They Ordered A 68-Page Joint Rule 📏

Your guide to the big joint SEC/CFTC crypto reveal.

The Beaten-Down Kept Building In 2025 🧱

When nobody's coming to save you, you save yourself. Or at least, you try.

Don't Freak Out: It's Just A Name Change 🧠

It's the same newsletter, just a different name.

Fed Verbs Don’t Trade Charts 📊

Hike, cut, whatever. The phase is the boss. Next week, the shenanigans begin.

The Rally Needed A Breather, Not A Eulogy 🪦

Prices outran their baseline and the gap got silly. Mean reversion by price or time is on deck, so momentum junkies can hydrate and chill.

401k Pick Up Line To Crypto: Nice Asset 👍️

More than crypto gets to go to the 401k party

This Better Not Be An April Fool’s Joke 🤔

Heavy on the charts and on-chain analytics today, hooray

Roses Are Red, Crypto Is Green, The Market Better Be Nice This Weekend, Usually It's Mean 💓

Crypto is probably going to get the cold shoulder this weekend. Stupid Valentine's Day hopes... grumble grumble grumble

Crypto On Tariffs: 'Meh'

Like a honey badger, crypto doesn't care

Crypto Went AFK While Everyone Watched NVDA

Crypto lowers, OpenSea gets Wells Notice, Glassnode says green might be on the screen soon, and more

Sacrebleu! French Cuffs

Telegram and TONCOIN big wig arrested in France, ADA & ALGO team up idea, and more in today's Litepaper

Stocktwits Sentiment: 4 Altcoins Prepped For Action

Crypto news and a Technically Speaking on ADA, DOGE, LINK, and SHIB

Gensler A Possible Future Treasury Secretary?

Kamala Harris might pick SEC Chairman as Tres. Sec., SOL sees a big dip in participation, and more in today's Litepaper

The Doldrums Of Crypto Are Here

It's that time of year when participation and volume dry up as people squeeze in plans before schools starts

Market Mulls Meh CPI Data

Yesterday's gains retraced as most of the crypto market is back to where the week started

There Are Swings And, Then There's Whatever The Heck The Week Was

Free memecoin generation on Solana, Cardano's Chang fork, Samsung with Illuvium and more

Trump: Strategic US BTC Reserve Incoming

XRP slips, Grayscale fees really suck, and a huge hack

Park And Bark Is The Name Of The Game

BTC, NEAR, and RNDR's charts, spot Bitcoin ETFs see inflows, and news in three sentences

A Toy Firetruck Thrown At My Face Hurts Less

Altcoin's in hell, life insurance is tokenized, top SEC cop is done, and GameFi news