DAT

It’s Chad’s Fault. Thanks Chad 😡

Looking At Castles What Were You Thinking

Crypto Has Entered Its “Don’t Make Eye Contact” Phase 👀

If you don't look at it, maybe things can just keep going a little more a little longer

I'm Emotivonally Available For Gains And Emotionally Prepared For Disappointment

Ready to be hurt again

Market Somehow Pulls Ladder Out From Under Itself, Defies Science 🤔

"He was already up there. He just reached down and took it," said one bystander, still shaking.

Tom Lee Says It's A Bottom. Tom Lee Always Says It's A Bottom 🤦

Down 48% from the $4.2T high and the mood isn't fear, it's a shrug. VanEck calls it orderly. The chart calls it a slow bleed.

Crypto Is Up But Not Emotionally Available 🛋️

A small bounce, a big sigh, and zero emotional growth.

Market Reminds Everyone It Loves Them Just Enough To Keep Hurting Them ❤️

Fear And Greed should be called Acceptance And Greed

Man Who Said Sell Your Kidney Before Bitcoin Sells 32 BTC, Keeps Both Kidneys 🫘

I mean, to be fair, he didn't mean his kidney

Scientists Confirm The Slow Removal Of A Flex Tape Band-Aid Still Less Cruel Than This Market

Market So Bad Traders Now Longing For Gentle Comfort Of Flex Tape Band-Aid Being Peeled Off Slowly

One In Four Americans Now Owns Crypto - And the Buyer Has Changed 🤯

The 2026 Crypto Holder Is Older, More Female, and Less Silicon Valley

Crypto To World: Hodl My Beer 🍺

The Market Has Taken Everything Except My Ability to Make Jokes About It 🫡

And honestly, that's all I had left anyway. /insertdrumhighhat ba-dum-ching sound effect thing.