Today’s Market Forecast: Yes, No, Maybe, Refresh 💹

The only confirmed trend is refreshing.

Crypto Price Action: A Roomba Trapped Under the Couch 🤖

Forward 3 steps, back three steps, forward three steps, back three steps

Local Altcoin Volunteers To Go First So The Rest Can Watch What Happens 👷

Will it, won't it, will it, won't it, will it, won't it?

The Senate's 309-Page Crypto Bill, Broken Down 📜

Stablecoin yield, the 60-day SEC clock, and banks getting the keys.

Well, The New Fed Chair Is A Degen 😱

Money speaks and Warsh's money says degen

Bulls Are Doing Pushups In The Middle Of The Highway Again 🐂

New Format! Well, new-ish. Let me know what you think.

Bitcoin's Momentum Gauges Just Broke History 🤯

There's insanely detached from reality, and then there's whatever the hells is going on right now.

Turns Out the Pot Of Gold Was Just More Volatility 🤷

Tricked again. Should've known.

When I Stared Into The Abyss, It Didn’t Stare Back, It Gave Me A Hug And Reassuring Shoulder Squeeze 🫂

Hugs a gud

Green Candles On Friday The 13th, Rally Into Valentine's Day. Nothing Suspicious Here. 😐️

Seems a little sus

If My Portfolio Were A Horse, The Vet Would've Shot It And Then Shot Me For Making Him Look At It 🐎

A horse is a horse, a horse, of course, unless your Mr. Ed o.... corpse

This Week: Banks Lobby Their Debanking Victim For Protection From Competition 🤦

There's irony and there's whatever the fook this is

The Market Rallied and I Still Feel 🤷Nothing

The Great Unclenching Of 2025 🗜️

An On-Chain Story Of Bitcoin's 2025

I'm Ready To Get Hurt Again, But Like, Festively 🎄

When technicals, sentiment, and macro all align, you either trust the process or remember what happened last time you trusted the process.

Bitcoin Stared Into The Abyss, And The Abyss Pointed And Laughed 🤣

Bitcoin is down and underperforming the rest of the crypto market big time

Feels Like Climbing Out Of A Hole Then Falling Into Another, Deeper, And Meaner Hole 😶

Global uncertainty spiked, and crypto’s risk premium detonated. The table for two is full. Crypto’s standing at the coat rack.

The Midnight Airdrop Is Here 🌃

ADA, BTC, ETH, XRP, and more are all eligible.

First Half Of 2025 Corpse Count: It's An Altpocalypse Out There 🧟

Opportunity Knocks: These Alts Haven’t Made Their Move Yet 🤜

As suck as the market is, there might be some light at the end of the tunnel

FARTCOIN: The Scent Of Victory 💨

When everything is in the toilet, hot air rises

Crypto Doesn't Have Tariffs 🧠

It's brutal out there, but crypto might perform better than the rest

Time Travel Is for Sci-Fi, Not Blockchains ⏲️

The cure can sometimes be worse than the disease

Snooze-day Tuesday

Crypto market very 'meh' today but a boat load of altcoins have some major updates

Bulls Buy Before CPI

Pop before the drop? A day before CPI, crypto is in the green