Fine. I’m Ready To Be Hurt Again 🫂

Just Rip My Heart Out Again, I'm Ready

It’s Chad’s Fault. Thanks Chad 😡

Looking At Castles What Were You Thinking

Traders Are Interrogating Every Green Candle For Lies And Information 🟢

WHAT DO YOU KNOW???!!!

Traders Eyeing These Moves Like A Yard Sale Rolex ⌚️

Looks nice, it's shiny, but that second hand seems a little sus

Crypto Gets The Rescue Dog Treatment - Loved, Fed, Watched For Sudden Movements 😶

A few days of nerves have turned to affection but one sudden move and this things goes back

Watching Bread Mold Is More Exciting 🍞

Waiting. Waiting. Waiting. Waiting.

Crypto, Invented To Escape Central Banking, Now Waiting Fed Meeting 🤦

Let the waiting game begin.

The Outflows Are Like Draining The Pool With A Cocktail Straw

Technically an outflow. Technically.

Crypto Price Action: A Roomba Trapped Under the Couch 🤖

Forward 3 steps, back three steps, forward three steps, back three steps

The Banks Would Like Their Cross-Border Business Back, Please 😐️

Tokenized deposits are the counterpunch to Tether and Circle eating the cross-border business

Tom Lee Says It's A Bottom. Tom Lee Always Says It's A Bottom 🤦

Down 48% from the $4.2T high and the mood isn't fear, it's a shrug. VanEck calls it orderly. The chart calls it a slow bleed.

They’re SECZ And They Know It 🫢

It's a huge, huge, huge, huge deal for crypto

Crypto Is Up But Not Emotionally Available 🛋️

A small bounce, a big sigh, and zero emotional growth.

The MVRV Might Make Bears Nervy 😰

It's all On-Chain today folks

Coast Guard Suspends Search For Bottom, Cites Lack Of Visibility 🚣‍♂️

We've been here before, and it always sucks as much as it did last time

Crypto Industry Celebrates Historic Vote To Have Another Vote Later ☑️

The other 76 senators were still being briefed on what crypto is.

Altseason Calls Finally Aging Like Bourbon Instead Of Unrefrigerated Yogurt 🥃

Time is the only honest test of readiness. Everything else is just guessing ahead of the clock.

Came For The Awards, Stayed For The Pump 💪

You know it's a good time when you wake up more drunk than when you went to bed. Reportedly. Something I heard.

Altcoin Market Snaps 6 Month Losing Streak 👍️

A win is a win

BTC Got Within Slapping Distance Of $80K. Then Got Slapped. 👋

Altcoins Saw Green And Immediately Made It Weird 😐️

A few clean pops, a few ugly reversals, and plenty of chart damage in between.

Well, The New Fed Chair Is A Degen 😱

Money speaks and Warsh's money says degen

Crypto To World: Hodl My Beer 🍺

My Confidence In This Confidence Is More Confident Than My Last Confidence 😐️

A fresh burst of market confidence has arrived, which would feel better if confidence itself didn’t have such a rich history of lying.

The Toll Booth Guys Just Declared War On Roads 🪖

Legacy middlemen are begging the hall monitors to regulate the pavement because people found a route that doesn’t require stopping to kiss the ring.