The Outflows Are Like Draining The Pool With A Cocktail Straw

Technically an outflow. Technically.

Gains Had The Shelf Life Of A Sparkler 🎇

The Cookout Ended And So Did The Rally

So, June Sucked 🤔

Let's review the damage, but in a fun way.

Crypto Industry Celebrates Historic Vote To Have Another Vote Later ☑️

The other 76 senators were still being briefed on what crypto is.

So Bullish I Thanked The Self Checkout Machine 👍️

Well, Hello Altcoins 👋

Still risky. Still weird. But at least now it looks survivable.

Crypto To World: Hodl My Beer 🍺

Single Digit Fear Index Means We're Basically Collecting Rare Achievements at This Point 🤣

Now it's just getting silly.

The Night Is Darkest Just Before The Dawn And It's Been Dark For 46 Days So Statistically We're Very Close 📆

Batman believed it. I believe it. Dawn any minute now. $17B in crypto options expire tomorrow

The SEC Brought The CFTC To Dinner And They Ordered A 68-Page Joint Rule 📏

Your guide to the big joint SEC/CFTC crypto reveal.

Spent 24 Hours Not Trusting The Pump And It Turns Out That Was The Correct Emotion 🤠

The Heart Wants What It Wants, And What It Wants Is To Be Destroyed 😻

Love is not love which alters when it finds the chart hath turned against it. I stay. I bleed.

Green Candles On Friday The 13th, Rally Into Valentine's Day. Nothing Suspicious Here. 😐️

Seems a little sus

Well That Is Just Rude 😶

Now the market is being just plain mean

Alts Say They’re Ready To Take It To The Next Level, Market Says It’s Not Ready 😐️

Totally Random: Vanguard, BofA, House GOP, Fed, and SEC All Pick Today 🤔

The color green makes me anxious I'm going to get hurt again

The Market’s A Crime Scene, But Altcoins Are The Slightly Less Dead Bodies ☠️

Altcoins 'winning' just looks different

Bitcoin Stared Into The Abyss, And The Abyss Pointed And Laughed 🤣

Bitcoin is down and underperforming the rest of the crypto market big time

Alts Just Bitch Slapped Bears 👋

Double-digit percentage gains across the board for altcoins

Still Waiting For The Treats, Getting Only Tricks 🍬

This whole month’s been one long jump scare followed by price boredom. The real horror is the silence.

It Could’ve Been Worse, But I’m Not Sure How. ☠️

Correction is what we were looking for, not extinction

Chainlink Bags SWIFT 💰️

LINK has essentially pulled a Michael Phelps series of wins

Don't Freak Out: It's Just A Name Change 🧠

It's the same newsletter, just a different name.

⚠️ STOP NOW: Hack Flipping Wallet Addresses ⚠️

The entire JavaScript ecosystem is probably compromised, that's why this LP is going out early.

Yup. August Is A Mean SOB. 😡

The weekend was just another example of August's continued tradition of being an ass to crypto