Uh Oh, Chad Is Browsing Medieval Castle Listings Again 🏰

One Green Monday And People Have Lost Their Minds, Me Included

My Portfolio Is Love-Bombing Me With A Two-Percent Bounce 🌹

I have seen this behavior before. It ended with margin calls.

Traders Are Interrogating Every Green Candle For Lies And Information 🟢

WHAT DO YOU KNOW???!!!

Perp My Ride 🏎️

TradFi Gets Perp’d So Hard It Forgets What a Share Is

Crypto Has Entered Its “Don’t Make Eye Contact” Phase 👀

If you don't look at it, maybe things can just keep going a little more a little longer

Crypto Price Action: A Roomba Trapped Under the Couch 🤖

Forward 3 steps, back three steps, forward three steps, back three steps

So, June Sucked 🤔

Let's review the damage, but in a fun way.

Market Reminds Everyone It Loves Them Just Enough To Keep Hurting Them ❤️

Fear And Greed should be called Acceptance And Greed

Local Altcoin Volunteers To Go First So The Rest Can Watch What Happens 👷

Will it, won't it, will it, won't it, will it, won't it?

Charts Have Entered Rare Technical Pattern Known As ‘Stop Checking’ 🛑

Another day, another bleak outlook

Man Who Said Sell Your Kidney Before Bitcoin Sells 32 BTC, Keeps Both Kidneys 🫘

I mean, to be fair, he didn't mean his kidney

Report: June Contributes To Returns The Way A Hole Contributes To A Boat 🕳️

Sentiment Gauge Stuck At "Extreme Fear" Because It Was Never Built To Measure People This Calm 😐️

After $1B in liquidations over 24 hours, it's clear there is no fear

Altcoins Ask Market To Stop Threatening Them And Just Do It Already 🕛️

Waiting, and more waiting, and, what's this? More waiting.

Wife Leaves Note On Fridge: "It's Me Or The 4-Hour Chart" 📈

Waiting and more waiting for a direction other than to the right

So Bullish I Thanked The Self Checkout Machine 👍️

Single Digit Fear Index Means We're Basically Collecting Rare Achievements at This Point 🤣

Now it's just getting silly.

Peter Schiff Somewhere Staring At A Wall Right Now And Honestly I Hope He's Okay 👨‍⚕️

Inflation, War, Global Chaos - Literally the Gold Commercial - and Gold Said 'Actually I'd Rather Not'

Turns Out the Pot Of Gold Was Just More Volatility 🤷

Tricked again. Should've known.

The SEC Brought The CFTC To Dinner And They Ordered A 68-Page Joint Rule 📏

Your guide to the big joint SEC/CFTC crypto reveal.

Whiskey Can't Fix My Entry Price But It Can Fix How I Feel About My Entry Price 🍻

Traditional Irish blessing, updated for 2026.

The Heart Wants What It Wants, And What It Wants Is To Be Destroyed 😻

Love is not love which alters when it finds the chart hath turned against it. I stay. I bleed.

The Altcoin Index Is Green Today, Which Means We're Only Down 40% Instead of 42% 🤦

Hope is a dangerous thing Andy

The Good, The Bad, And The Fugly

How it's looking out there.

This Week: Banks Lobby Their Debanking Victim For Protection From Competition 🤦

There's irony and there's whatever the fook this is