Crypto Is Up But Not Emotionally Available 🛋️

A small bounce, a big sigh, and zero emotional growth.

The Only Thing Bearish About Crypto Is The Price Action 🧠

The money flowing in is still massive

Man Who Said Sell Your Kidney Before Bitcoin Sells 32 BTC, Keeps Both Kidneys 🫘

I mean, to be fair, he didn't mean his kidney

Scientists Confirm The Slow Removal Of A Flex Tape Band-Aid Still Less Cruel Than This Market

Market So Bad Traders Now Longing For Gentle Comfort Of Flex Tape Band-Aid Being Peeled Off Slowly

One In Four Americans Now Owns Crypto - And the Buyer Has Changed 🤯

The 2026 Crypto Holder Is Older, More Female, and Less Silicon Valley

Crypto Industry Celebrates Historic Vote To Have Another Vote Later ☑️

The other 76 senators were still being briefed on what crypto is.

BTC Got Within Slapping Distance Of $80K. Then Got Slapped. 👋

So Bullish I Thanked The Self Checkout Machine 👍️

Crypto To World: Hodl My Beer 🍺

March Broke The Five-Month Losing Streak 👍️

Even a butt ugly win is still a win, and we can take any win the market gives us.

Well That Is Just Rude 😶

Now the market is being just plain mean

Saylor Has Spent Enough On BTC This Year To Buy Every NFL Stadium 😶

Strategy Has Bought So Much This Year

Well, DAT Sucks 😐️

Crypto DATs and ETFs have, well, sucked. Let's look at how bad they suck

Bitcoin Stared Into The Abyss, And The Abyss Pointed And Laughed 🤣

Bitcoin is down and underperforming the rest of the crypto market big time

Before The Weekend: Green On The Screen

Nice turnaround to end the Friday trading session - but the weekend is always volatile

Today's LP Is Brought To You By The Letters F, E, A, and R

Red is everywhere the past couple days - let's see what the weekend gives us

Bitcoin 2024: What We Know So Far

A look at what's happened so far at Bitcoin 2024, and Senator Warren's crypto bill suffers a drop

True Decentralization: Cardano’s Chang Fork

Cardano's Final Step Is Here

Park And Bark Is The Name Of The Game

BTC, NEAR, and RNDR's charts, spot Bitcoin ETFs see inflows, and news in three sentences

SEC Abandons Ethereum Fight: "We Can’t Afford More Embarrassment"

The SEC drops its ETH investigation, CertiK hacked Kraken, and Animoca keeps throwing money

A Toy Firetruck Thrown At My Face Hurts Less

Altcoin's in hell, life insurance is tokenized, top SEC cop is done, and GameFi news

Bull vs. Bear Battle Continues Into Weekend

Bitcoin's latest technical levels, the top 10 "out of the money" cryptocurrencies, and a crypto 101 on DEX risks.

Gensler Gives Timeline For ETH ETFs

The SEC's update, 10 cryptos "in the money," and a refresher on the role of lending on DEXs.

Institutional FOMO Has Begun 😲

Major institutional buys of spot BTC ETFs, Web3, GameFi, and NFT news, and breakout charts on ETH, ADA, FLOKI, SHIB, and XTZ

🐂 Bulls Putting Bears To The Test 🐻

ETH, DOGE, and LINK technical analysis, Jack Dorsey's BTC plans, Saylor's ETH prediction, and bridges suck.