Fine. I’m Ready To Be Hurt Again 🫂

Just Rip My Heart Out Again, I'm Ready

That's One Big Short Squeeze 🗜️

There's Short Squeezes Then There's Whatever Happened Today Is Called

Nobody Got Liquidated This Week Because There Was Nothing Left to Liquidate 😶

OMG obviously there were some liquidations, chill

Market Somehow Pulls Ladder Out From Under Itself, Defies Science 🤔

"He was already up there. He just reached down and took it," said one bystander, still shaking.

Volume So Low Market Reportedly Just Two Guys And A Bot Keeping Each Other Company 🤖

Lot's of waiting and watching going on

So, That Sucks 🤷

But at least altcoins are not sucking as bad as Bitcoin

Man Who Sold Yesterday Now A Believer Again 😆

Flippity floppity bippity boppity

Where The Dynamite Is Buried: A 30-Day Funding Tour 🧨

What people are doing in the perps markets can tell us a lot

What The Kelp Happened 🤦

Crypto bridges falling down, falling down, falling down

DOGE And Gold Are On The Same Leaderboard And Nobody Thinks That's Weird 😕

omewhere between a dog coin and a 5,000-year-old store of value, the definition of 'crypto exchange' stopped meaning what you think it means.

Shorts Got Liquidated, Alts Are Pumping, and I Smiled This Morning 🥳

Let's not get crazy - but this feels good.

Wait, Crypto Is The Stable One? 🤔

It's oddly... stable?

This Rally Feels Like When The Killer Lets You Run For A Bit Before The Third Act 🔪

Fear Index Hits Fetal Position 👶

Analysts recommend deep breaths and avoiding portfolio apps.

Watching My Portfolio Like A Hospice Nurse On A Double Shift 😶

We're just here to manage the pain now.

Checking Charts Every 5 Minutes Really Paying Off In Terms Of Stress 😰

Doctors recommend 10,000 steps a day. You're doing 10,000 refreshes.

2025 Review: Crypto Got Everything It Wanted And Nearly Killed Us 💀

Well, almost everything

November 2025 Crypto Crime Scene Report: Detectives Say Every Chart Was Found Face-Down With No Signs Of Struggle 👮

Q4 is a shite show so far

Feels Like Dental Work Without Anesthesia 🦷

The dip is beginning to feel like a mugging

It Could’ve Been Worse, But I’m Not Sure How. ☠️

Correction is what we were looking for, not extinction

Short Sellers Squeezed And In Pain

$33 million (and rising) in shorts liquidated, McDonald's Insta hacked and promoted scam coin, and more

Market Mulls Meh CPI Data

Yesterday's gains retraced as most of the crypto market is back to where the week started

Park And Bark

Red everywhere today, but there were some nice recoveries near the end of the day

Grayscale Leads The ETH ETF Bleed

ETH in the red, hopes for SOL ETFs grow, and Mt. Gox claims incoming.

A Bottle Rocket To The Nuts Hurts Less

ATOM, OP, DOT, and the total market cap charts along with how much was flushed from the market