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Feels Like Dental Work Without Anesthesia 🦷

The dip is beginning to feel like a mugging

OVERVIEW

Feels Like Dental Work Without Anesthesia 🦷

Before we dive in, here’s today’s crypto market heatmap:

Source: finviz

And here’s a look at crypto’s total market and altcoin market cap charts:

Source: TradingView

ON-CHAIN ANALYSIS
Green Is Not Good šŸ˜ļø

Here’s a picture of a green crypto market:

24H Long Liquidatons - Source: coinglass

That sea of green above isn’t a victory lap - it’s the blockchain equivalent of your portfolio sending you a ā€œwe need to talkā€ text at 3 a.m. ā±ļø 

24H Long Liquidatons - Source: coinglass

BTC alone saw $248.65M worth of liquidation-swirl. ETH followed with $206.30M, leaving traders looking like they got personally rugged by the universe.

SOL, XRP, DOGE, ZEC - all happily painted green because when the market vaporizes leveraged longs, the candles jump up like nothing ever happened. That’s crypto. 🤦 

NEWS
Cash App Leans Hard Into Crypto With Its Biggest Upgrade Yet

Cash App finally stopped pretending to be ā€œjust a money appā€ and pushed a slate of updates that shove crypto, Lightning, stablecoins, and AI straight into the mainstream. 🤯 

Eleven new features, 150+ improvements, (no way I can go into all of them) and enough signal here to make the traditional banks suddenly remember what innovation feels like.

This release hits the places that actually matter for readers of this newsletter: $BTC.X ( ā–¼ 1.75% ) payments, Lightning support with USD fallback, stablecoin transfers, merchant mapping, and an AI assistant that goes way beyond the usual corporate chatbot cosplay.

Bitcoin Gets Treated Like Spendable Money

Cash App is done with the museum-storage approach to BTC. Users can now:

  • Pay Lightning invoices instantly

  • Or choose to pay them in USD without touching BTC

  • See local merchants that accept Bitcoin on an interactive map

  • Spend BTC directly, instantly, and basically friction-free

It’s the closest thing America has to a BTC-native payments network at scale. And Cash App knows it.

Stablecoins also enter the field: Soon, users can send and receive stables inside the app, turning Cash App into a hybrid fiat-crypto transfer hub.

What makes this such a big deal is we’re not looking at some wonky crypto payments app pasted on top of a known fiat-payment rail - it’s a well known and used fiat-payment rail introducing crypto for easy use.

That’s how we get non-crypto people into crypto - without them even knowing it. 🫢 

NEWS
Cardano Finally Gets a Real Payments Card šŸ’³ļø 

$ADA.X ( ā–¼ 5.0% ) just pulled off its biggest mainstream leap yet. 🦘 

EMURGO and Wirex announced the first-ever Cardano Card at Cardano Summit 2025, instantly dropping ADA into the laps of Wirex’s six-million-user network across 130 countries.

No teaser campaign. No ā€œcoming soonā€ hopium. Just a straight-up integration that puts ADA inside the Wirex app for anyone to start using.

The card launches in physical, metal, and virtual formats. Summit attendees get first dibs, lucky bastards.

The real play here is utility. The Cardano Card can earn up to 8% crypto cashback, unlock structured trading products, use X-Accounts for yield, and even tap ADA-backed loans.

And in 2026, phase two hits: a non-custodial Cardano Card, meaning the same features - yield, loans, spending - but with full user control. No middleman custody. No excuses.

The market is ripe for it. Wirex has processed over $20 billion in crypto transactions already, and 2025 data shows more than 31 million crypto wallets used for daily payments. That’s the consumer base waiting for a product exactly like this.

Cardano Card signups are already live and early access is being handed out on-site at the Summit. Card availability varies by region. It’s finally getting spendability at scale. šŸ§  

NEWS
From Trusts to Trading: Grayscale IPOs Itself šŸ˜Ž

Grayscale filed to go public under the ticker GRAY (seriously, this tickers wasn’t taken?). šŸ¤” 

They open with the big flex: $35 billion AUM as of Sept 30. But the real story is what sits under that number. Grayscale isn’t just pushing Bitcoin and Ethereum anymore.

Their product universe now spans sectors like AI tokens, identity systems, digital art, web hosting and gaming. They want Wall Street to know they’re not a one-chain wonder.

Their S-1 leans hard into the ā€œdigital assets have reached escape velocityā€ line. Crypto’s total market cap hit about $4 trillion in September, and Bitcoin is up nearly 47,800% over the past decade.

Pair that with the stat that 83% of institutions expect to increase their digital-asset allocations in 2025, and the pitch becomes obvious: money is coming, and Grayscale wants to be the default on-ramp.

Not Just ETFS & Trusts

They hype their pipeline too.

Staking plays a major role - Grayscale already manages one of the world’s largest Ethereum ETP franchises. Their Solana ETP is staked as well. And through their Capital Solutions Platform, they’re seeding products around emerging technologies like AI protocols, while collecting tokens as part of the deal.

But strip away the disclaimers and the S-1 reads like this:

Crypto’s getting bigger, AI tokens are next, staking is real, and Grayscale wants to list its stock before the next wave hits. šŸ‘Š 

NEWS IN THREE SENTENCES
AI, Stablecoins, & Privacy News šŸ•µļø

šŸ’µ Sui Drops USDsui, a Native Stablecoin Forged with Stripe-Backed Bridge

Sui is rolling out USDsui, a stablecoin built on Bridge’s Open Issuance rails so developers can plug into a fully compliant, cross-chain financial layer without duct-taping stablecoins together. With $412B in stablecoin volume flowing through Sui in just two months, the network finally gets a native asset built for real-world payments, deep liquidity, and regulatory sanity. Sui.

NEWS IN THREE SENTENCES
Real World Asset Tokenization (RWA) News šŸŖ™

šŸ¢ Centrifuge Whitelabel Lets Institutions Tokenize Basically Anything

If you’ve ever wondered what ā€œtokenization at scaleā€ looks like, it’s this: Centrifuge launched Whitelabel, a modular tokenization platform that lets asset managers spin up compliant vaults without reinventing the plumbing. Daylight is first in line, using it to tokenize energy assets with audited components, NAV automation, investor onboarding, and multichain liquidity baked in. Centrifuge.

NEWS IN THREE SENTENCES
Metaverse, NFT, & Gaming News šŸŽ®ļø

šŸ”„ GalaSwap Launches GMEW/GALA Trading Showdown

GalaSwap kicked off a week-long trading competition built around the GMEW/GALA pair, complete with a live leaderboard and a loot table that reads like someone raided a mystery-box warehouse. Traders climb the ranks by sheer volume, picking up Legendary and Epic Pilgrim Designer Workers along the way. It’s part liquidity bootcamp, part flex-off, and fully designed to juice GalaChain engagement. GalaGames.

NEWS IN THREE SENTENCES
DeFi, DEX, & Lending News šŸ¦

āš–ļø Uniswap v4 Gets Continuous Clearing Auctions For Fairer Token Launches

Liquidity seeding usually happens in smoky backrooms, so Uniswap built Continuous Clearing Auctions to drag price discovery into the sunlight. CCA runs fully onchain, nudges bidders toward fair pricing, and automatically spins up a v4 liquidity pool at the auction’s final clearing price. It’s transparent, permissionless, and finally gives teams a launch tool that doesn’t feel like speed-running a rug. Uniswap.

NEWS IN THREE SENTENCES
Protocol News šŸ¦

šŸ›”ļø EigenZero Brings $5M of Slashable Security to LayerZero Messaging

EigenZero is live with a $5M ZRO stake on the line, turning message verification across Avalanche, BNB Chain, and Ethereum into an economically enforced trust model. If it verifies incorrectly, anyone can file a claim, trigger slashing, and get compensated - a bit of an upgrade from ā€œjust trust the quorum.ā€ LayerZero.

LINKS
Links That Don’t Suck šŸ”—

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Author Disclosure: The author of this newsletter holds positions in AVAX, ADA, PUDGY, WLC, IMX, XTZ, NEAR, HBAR, ALGO, INJ, LTC, LINK, ZEC, XLM, and FET. šŸ“‹