My Portfolio Is Love-Bombing Me With A Two-Percent Bounce 🌹

I have seen this behavior before. It ended with margin calls.

It's Not Ethereum's Birthday 🎂

Ethereum Isn't Eleven. It's Ten And Wearing Its Mom's Name

This Hurts Worse Than A Compound Fracture You Have To Look At 🤕

Well, maybe not that bad, but it's getting close.

Bulls Are Doing Pushups In The Middle Of The Highway Again 🐂

New Format! Well, new-ish. Let me know what you think.

Single Digit Fear Index Means We're Basically Collecting Rare Achievements at This Point 🤣

Now it's just getting silly.

Only 1M BTC Remaining 😨

The 20 millionth BTC was mined today.

The Most Beautifully Stupid Thing That Happened In Crypto Happened On Sunday 💇

A glorious crypto story

The Heart Wants What It Wants, And What It Wants Is To Be Destroyed 😻

Love is not love which alters when it finds the chart hath turned against it. I stay. I bleed.

The Market Has Taken Everything Except My Ability to Make Jokes About It 🫡

And honestly, that's all I had left anyway. /insertdrumhighhat ba-dum-ching sound effect thing.

The Altcoin Index Is Green Today, Which Means We're Only Down 40% Instead of 42% 🤦

Hope is a dangerous thing Andy

The Good, The Bad, And The Fugly

How it's looking out there.

I'm So Damanged I Don't Trust Anything That Isn't Actively Rugging Me 🥹

Good feelings officially feel suspicious

No, Zcash Devs Didn’t Quit 🤦

The Safe Word Is: Fifty-Two 🙂

Green? On The Screen? Huzzah

Alts Just Bitch Slapped Bears 👋

Double-digit percentage gains across the board for altcoins

Altcoins Winked, The Fed Blinked 😉

BTC rolled over, ETH took a nap, and altcoins are flirting with bad decisions again.

Next Week Looks About As Safe As Bootleg Halloween Candy 🍬

Of course all this happens during Halloween week.

Alts Are Tighter Than A Latex Catsuit After Three Pumpkin Latte Martinis 🐈‍⬛

So many ranges getting squeezed

And So It Begins: The Great Yield Migration 🐘

This Is What Altseason Should Look Like 👀

Alts haven't even had a big move yet

Confirmed: XRP and DOGE ETFs Tomorrow 🚀

Also: What moved post rate cut announcement.

Altcoin Breakout Damn Close 🤏

Triangle coils. Setup looks clean. the month doesn't.

Cardano Audit Kills Voucher FUD 📑

A 128-page report shredded all five scam claims with receipts and numbers.

Who Has Room To Run, And Who’s Gotta Cool Off 🤔

Special look at LINK, LTC, INJ, ADA, and ETH

401k Pick Up Line To Crypto: Nice Asset 👍️

More than crypto gets to go to the 401k party