Nobody Got Liquidated This Week Because There Was Nothing Left to Liquidate 😶

OMG obviously there were some liquidations, chill

Perp My Ride 🏎️

TradFi Gets Perp’d So Hard It Forgets What a Share Is

Watching Bread Mold Is More Exciting 🍞

Waiting. Waiting. Waiting. Waiting.

From Doom Scrolling To Yacht Shopping In Two Days 🤯

Nothing changes financial planning quite like two green candles.

Market Somehow Pulls Ladder Out From Under Itself, Defies Science 🤔

"He was already up there. He just reached down and took it," said one bystander, still shaking.

The Only Thing Bearish About Crypto Is The Price Action 🧠

The money flowing in is still massive

Market Sends One 'Hey Stranger' And Man Deletes The Eleven-Paragraph Breakup Speech He'd Been Perfecting For Two Weeks 📆

So, That Sucks 🤷

But at least altcoins are not sucking as bad as Bitcoin

Both Leverage And Nerves Are Up 🔼

Today we're looking at the Leverage Absorption Ratio to get an idea of how the market is doing after some gains

Altcoin Funding Rates Look Calm. The Last Time They Looked This Calm, They Did Not Stay That Way 🤯

The market's last five funding resets ran higher. The current one is in progress.

We've Hit 'Extreme Fear' So Many Times It Should Just Be Called 'Regular Fear' by Now 🤣

I made myself laugh with that headline.

Data Is More Fun Than Whatever Else Is Happening Right Now 🛝

It's All On-Chain Today

Fear Index Hits Fetal Position 👶

Analysts recommend deep breaths and avoiding portfolio apps.

"It’s Just A Healthy Correction," Says Man Currently Listing His Blood Plasma On eBay 🩸

Top strategists confirm that you technically cannot lose purchasing power to inflation if the market removes your ability to purchase anything at all.

Congratulations, You Survived 2025 😶

Crypto Spent 2025 Turning Diamond Hands Into Hamburger Helper Hands

Theory: There's A Shadow Rotation Into $ZEC 🥷

And not just ZEC, but privacy in general, that's my theory at least

Q4's Leverage Detox Is Strenghtening The Crypto Market 💪

Feels Like Climbing Out Of A Hole Then Falling Into Another, Deeper, And Meaner Hole 😶

Global uncertainty spiked, and crypto’s risk premium detonated. The table for two is full. Crypto’s standing at the coat rack.

It Could’ve Been Worse, But I’m Not Sure How. ☠️

Correction is what we were looking for, not extinction

Short Sellers Squeezed And In Pain

$33 million (and rising) in shorts liquidated, McDonald's Insta hacked and promoted scam coin, and more

Bulls Buy Before CPI

Pop before the drop? A day before CPI, crypto is in the green

There Are Swings And, Then There's Whatever The Heck The Week Was

Free memecoin generation on Solana, Cardano's Chang fork, Samsung with Illuvium and more

SEC Abandons Ethereum Fight: "We Can’t Afford More Embarrassment"

The SEC drops its ETH investigation, CertiK hacked Kraken, and Animoca keeps throwing money