From Doom Scrolling To Yacht Shopping In Two Days 🤯

Nothing changes financial planning quite like two green candles.

Everyone Watching The Same Cliff Edge

Crowd reportedly maintaining eye contact with the drop in case it tries anything.

Market Sends One 'Hey Stranger' And Man Deletes The Eleven-Paragraph Breakup Speech He'd Been Perfecting For Two Weeks 📆

Hear Ye, Hear Ye - The Screen Doth Run Green This Day 🥳

Feelings of merry-adjacent moods do rise today

Crypto Industry Celebrates Historic Vote To Have Another Vote Later ☑️

The other 76 senators were still being briefed on what crypto is.

I’m Ready For Another Hit 👊

Turn-Around-Tuesday strikes again

Crypto Closes April Green, Joy Remains Unconfirmed 🤷

Winning never felt so, well, not winning

Wife Leaves Note On Fridge: "It's Me Or The 4-Hour Chart" 📈

Waiting and more waiting for a direction other than to the right

So Bullish I Thanked The Self Checkout Machine 👍️

Bitcoin's Momentum Gauges Just Broke History 🤯

There's insanely detached from reality, and then there's whatever the hells is going on right now.

The Night Is Darkest Just Before The Dawn And It's Been Dark For 46 Days So Statistically We're Very Close 📆

Batman believed it. I believe it. Dawn any minute now. $17B in crypto options expire tomorrow

Turns Out the Pot Of Gold Was Just More Volatility 🤷

Tricked again. Should've known.

The Most Expensive Typo in DeFi History - Or the Most Expensive Cover Story 😱

Well this is just a crazy story

Well, At Least We’re Green 😶

Grim buy green.

The Most Beautifully Stupid Thing That Happened In Crypto Happened On Sunday 💇

A glorious crypto story

When I Stared Into The Abyss, It Didn’t Stare Back, It Gave Me A Hug And Reassuring Shoulder Squeeze 🫂

Hugs a gud

Well That Is Just Rude 😶

Now the market is being just plain mean

If My Portfolio Were A Horse, The Vet Would've Shot It And Then Shot Me For Making Him Look At It 🐎

A horse is a horse, a horse, of course, unless your Mr. Ed o.... corpse

"It’s Just A Healthy Correction," Says Man Currently Listing His Blood Plasma On eBay 🩸

Top strategists confirm that you technically cannot lose purchasing power to inflation if the market removes your ability to purchase anything at all.

Checking Charts Every 5 Minutes Really Paying Off In Terms Of Stress 😰

Doctors recommend 10,000 steps a day. You're doing 10,000 refreshes.

Brief Moment Of Joy Successfully Converted Into Extended Suffering 🩹

Efficient. Ruthless. The market is an artist. Of cruelty.

Support Level Found: The Floor. Of Your Apartment. Where You're Lying. 😵

Fetal position is a valid trading strategy now.

Thanos Works At X Now: InfoFi Tokens Didn't Even Get a Goodbye ☠️

Snap And 100% Of InfoFi Went Poof

This Week: Banks Lobby Their Debanking Victim For Protection From Competition 🤦

There's irony and there's whatever the fook this is

No, Zcash Devs Didn’t Quit 🤦