So Robinhood Just Launched It's Own Pump.fun... 🦄

I have no words

Hope And Fear Now Sharing Custody Of The Market On Alternating Days 🎭️

Good then bad then good then bad then good then bad then good then bad

Crypto, Invented To Escape Central Banking, Now Waiting Fed Meeting 🤦

Let the waiting game begin.

From Doom Scrolling To Yacht Shopping In Two Days 🤯

Nothing changes financial planning quite like two green candles.

Crypto Has Entered Its “Don’t Make Eye Contact” Phase 👀

If you don't look at it, maybe things can just keep going a little more a little longer

Hope Is Back Like A Drunk Uncle With A Pontoon ⛴️

Outboard motor goes brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

Tom Lee Says It's A Bottom. Tom Lee Always Says It's A Bottom 🤦

Down 48% from the $4.2T high and the mood isn't fear, it's a shrug. VanEck calls it orderly. The chart calls it a slow bleed.

They’re SECZ And They Know It 🫢

It's a huge, huge, huge, huge deal for crypto

Is... Is That... Green? 😲

There is a color other than red on the screen today

This Hurts Worse Than A Compound Fracture You Have To Look At 🤕

Well, maybe not that bad, but it's getting close.

Market Sends One 'Hey Stranger' And Man Deletes The Eleven-Paragraph Breakup Speech He'd Been Perfecting For Two Weeks 📆

Hear Ye, Hear Ye - The Screen Doth Run Green This Day 🥳

Feelings of merry-adjacent moods do rise today

A Letter To Everyone Watching Red

What has been will be again, there is nothing new under the sun

Coast Guard Suspends Search For Bottom, Cites Lack Of Visibility 🚣‍♂️

We've been here before, and it always sucks as much as it did last time

Charts Have Entered Rare Technical Pattern Known As ‘Stop Checking’ 🛑

Another day, another bleak outlook

Man Who Said Sell Your Kidney Before Bitcoin Sells 32 BTC, Keeps Both Kidneys 🫘

I mean, to be fair, he didn't mean his kidney

Sentiment Gauge Stuck At "Extreme Fear" Because It Was Never Built To Measure People This Calm 😐️

After $1B in liquidations over 24 hours, it's clear there is no fear

Happy Bitcoin Pizza Day 🍕

16 years went by fast.

Report: Altcoins Upgraded From 'Do Not Resuscitate' To 'Try The Shock Paddle Things' 🏥

A handful of alts are looking a lot better

Altcoins Ask Market To Stop Threatening Them And Just Do It Already 🕛️

Waiting, and more waiting, and, what's this? More waiting.

Crypto Market Holds Emergency Meeting To Decide Whether This Is A Breakout Or Just Another Elaborate Humiliation Ritual 🤔

Not much separating either bulls or bears getting a massive push here

Altseason Calls Finally Aging Like Bourbon Instead Of Unrefrigerated Yogurt 🥃

Time is the only honest test of readiness. Everything else is just guessing ahead of the clock.

Man Who Sold Yesterday Now A Believer Again 😆

Flippity floppity bippity boppity

Came For The Awards, Stayed For The Pump 💪

You know it's a good time when you wake up more drunk than when you went to bed. Reportedly. Something I heard.

Altcoin Market Snaps 6 Month Losing Streak 👍️

A win is a win