The Rally Has A Pulse, A Burner Phone, And No Fixed Address 😶

Everyone is nervous, bulls and bears both

It's Not Ethereum's Birthday 🎂

Ethereum Isn't Eleven. It's Ten And Wearing Its Mom's Name

The Outflows Are Like Draining The Pool With A Cocktail Straw

Technically an outflow. Technically.

Crypto Price Action: A Roomba Trapped Under the Couch 🤖

Forward 3 steps, back three steps, forward three steps, back three steps

Sentiment Gauge Stuck At "Extreme Fear" Because It Was Never Built To Measure People This Calm 😐️

After $1B in liquidations over 24 hours, it's clear there is no fear

Crypto Market Holds Emergency Meeting To Decide Whether This Is A Breakout Or Just Another Elaborate Humiliation Ritual 🤔

Not much separating either bulls or bears getting a massive push here

DeFi United: Aave Passes Around The Hat 🎩

It's like a GoFundMe without a GoFundMe

Well, The New Fed Chair Is A Degen 😱

Money speaks and Warsh's money says degen

Well, Hello Altcoins 👋

Still risky. Still weird. But at least now it looks survivable.

Crypto To World: Hodl My Beer 🍺

Turns Out the Pot Of Gold Was Just More Volatility 🤷

Tricked again. Should've known.

Watching My Portfolio Like A Hospice Nurse On A Double Shift 😶

We're just here to manage the pain now.

I'm Ready To Get Hurt Again, But Like, Festively 🎄

When technicals, sentiment, and macro all align, you either trust the process or remember what happened last time you trusted the process.

DATs Good, STDs Bad 🏥

More tickers for suits to click. Liquidity widens slowly, then suddenly.

Cardano Audit Kills Voucher FUD 📑

A 128-page report shredded all five scam claims with receipts and numbers.

Yup. August Is A Mean SOB. 😡

The weekend was just another example of August's continued tradition of being an ass to crypto

Only 1.39M BTC On Exchanges 🤯

New 6.6 year low for the amount of BTC on exchanges

It Was Fun While It Lasted 🤕

As suck as the market is, there might be some light at the end of the tunnel

Privacy Is Normal 🕵️‍♂️

Oh, and the MANTRA teams gave an update

MANTRA: The Anatomy Of A Collapse 📉

From $6.5b to <$500m

Wrapeth Now Thine Own Forehead In Foil 🌌

Thine Mind Needeth Saving, For Madness Cometh Swiftly

Altcoins Look Close To Death Or Primed To Pump 💀

Altcoins are either dying or priming

Crypto Has More Weak Hands Than Logan Paul’s Fight Contracts 🥊

A look at BTC, ADA, XRP, ETH, LINK, and DOGE's MVRV charts

Crypto On Tariffs: 'Meh'

Like a honey badger, crypto doesn't care

🎉 ETH ETFS APPROVED 🎆

ETH ETFS approved, Enjin's new NFT wallet, Bybit's FUD, and OpenSea NFTs