CAKE
PancakeSwap
JTO
+16
The Rally Has A Pulse, A Burner Phone, And No Fixed Address 😶
Everyone is nervous, bulls and bears both
/
Aug 7, 2026
MS
+20
I'm Emotivonally Available For Gains And Emotionally Prepared For Disappointment
Ready to be hurt again
/
Jul 16, 2026
LINK
+29
They’re SECZ And They Know It 🫢
It's a huge, huge, huge, huge deal for crypto
/
Jul 2, 2026
XLM
+27
Report: Altcoins Upgraded From 'Do Not Resuscitate' To 'Try The Shock Paddle Things' 🏥
A handful of alts are looking a lot better
/
May 21, 2026
BCH
+22
Crypto Market Holds Emergency Meeting To Decide Whether This Is A Breakout Or Just Another Elaborate Humiliation Ritual 🤔
Not much separating either bulls or bears getting a massive push here
/
May 18, 2026
XLM
+19
Bulls Are Doing Pushups In The Middle Of The Highway Again 🐂
New Format! Well, new-ish. Let me know what you think.
/
Apr 9, 2026
XLM
+20
Grandma Got Run Over By A Red Candle 😵
Grandma, like this market, needs a Christmas miracle.
/
Dec 16, 2025
LINK
+21
Crypto's New Class System: Bitcoin Aristocracy, Ethereum Gentry, Altcoin Peasantry 👑
Today's MVRV deep dive explains why
/
Dec 4, 2025
DYM
+19
Alts Just Bitch Slapped Bears 👋
Double-digit percentage gains across the board for altcoins
/
Nov 7, 2025
BNT
+12
Deadtober, Rektober, Bleedtober, Helltober... But It's Definitely Not Uptober 🩸
This month is a real biatch
/
Oct 30, 2025
AXL
+8
ICE Drops $2B On Polymarket 💰️
So, that's quite a bit of money, ya?
/
Oct 7, 2025
BAND
+6
Merry Fed Day Eve 🗓️
There was a time when crypto didn't have to worry about this shtuff.
/
Sep 16, 2025
STORJ
+18
⚠️ STOP NOW: Hack Flipping Wallet Addresses ⚠️
The entire JavaScript ecosystem is probably compromised, that's why this LP is going out early.
/
Sep 8, 2025
SOL
+15
Altcoins Spawn Camping 🎯
MVRV levels show some interesting details on where this market could be going
/
Jul 29, 2025
ATOM
+9
Fifty Shades Of Chainsaw: Crypto Bros Swap Dungeon For Ankle Monitors 🚨
I have no words. This is as funny as it is disturbing as it is unsurprising.
/
Jul 24, 2025
XTZ
+9
How To Buy Dirt Cheap And Dump The Peak 🧠
Cheap prints, whale footprints, real stats. This MVRV + HODL combo maps the 2025 flips before the crowd even blinks.
/
Jun 18, 2025
ASTR
+8
15 Yrs Ago: Bitcoin's $10 Pizza Now $1.12B 🍕
Also: BTC new all-time highs, FIFA picks AVAX, and Sui DEX attacked
/
May 22, 2025
LINK
+12
Crypto Hits Pause - Next Move Loading ⏸️
It's been a good run, but every runner needs a breather once and a while
/
May 14, 2025
C
+9
Newest Crypto Trend Of 2025: Kidnappings 🤦
Also, there's one country in Europe you probably don't want to go to if anyone knows you have crypto. Hint: The Eiffel Tower is there.
/
May 13, 2025
ARB
+13
FARTCOIN: The Scent Of Victory 💨
When everything is in the toilet, hot air rises
/
Apr 7, 2025
MINA
+4
What To Expect In April And Q2
If the first three months of the year are what to expect, the 'typical' April might not happen
/
Mar 31, 2025
