Man Who Said Sell Your Kidney Before Bitcoin Sells 32 BTC, Keeps Both Kidneys 🫘

I mean, to be fair, he didn't mean his kidney

Report: June Contributes To Returns The Way A Hole Contributes To A Boat 🕳️

Sentiment Gauge Stuck At "Extreme Fear" Because It Was Never Built To Measure People This Calm 😐️

After $1B in liquidations over 24 hours, it's clear there is no fear

Altcoin Hodlers Find Comfort Knowing Everyone Else Also Looks Like They Licked A Battery 🔋

There's comfort in knowing everything and everyone is sour and slightly tangy

Scientists Confirm The Slow Removal Of A Flex Tape Band-Aid Still Less Cruel Than This Market

Market So Bad Traders Now Longing For Gentle Comfort Of Flex Tape Band-Aid Being Peeled Off Slowly

Happy Bitcoin Pizza Day 🍕

16 years went by fast.

Report: Altcoins Upgraded From 'Do Not Resuscitate' To 'Try The Shock Paddle Things' 🏥

A handful of alts are looking a lot better

One In Four Americans Now Owns Crypto - And the Buyer Has Changed 🤯

The 2026 Crypto Holder Is Older, More Female, and Less Silicon Valley

Altcoins Ask Market To Stop Threatening Them And Just Do It Already 🕛️

Waiting, and more waiting, and, what's this? More waiting.

Crypto Market Holds Emergency Meeting To Decide Whether This Is A Breakout Or Just Another Elaborate Humiliation Ritual 🤔

Not much separating either bulls or bears getting a massive push here