It’s Chad’s Fault. Thanks Chad 😡

Looking At Castles What Were You Thinking

My Portfolio Is Love-Bombing Me With A Two-Percent Bounce 🌹

I have seen this behavior before. It ended with margin calls.

From Doom Scrolling To Yacht Shopping In Two Days 🤯

Nothing changes financial planning quite like two green candles.

Market Somehow Pulls Ladder Out From Under Itself, Defies Science 🤔

"He was already up there. He just reached down and took it," said one bystander, still shaking.

Crypto Feels Like A Patient That Can Eat Solid Food Again 🍴

Nobody order the steak. We are still testing applesauce.

Crypto's July, Graded Like Fireworks 🎆

Historical July performance, but they're fireworks reviews

The Only Thing Bearish About Crypto Is The Price Action 🧠

The money flowing in is still massive

Local Altcoin Volunteers To Go First So The Rest Can Watch What Happens 👷

Will it, won't it, will it, won't it, will it, won't it?

Market Improves From ‘Please No’ To ‘Okay Maybe’ In Stunning Emotional Breakthrough 🥲

Hodlers praised the progress while quietly leaving one hand near the emergency button.

So, That Sucks 🤷

But at least altcoins are not sucking as bad as Bitcoin

Report: June Contributes To Returns The Way A Hole Contributes To A Boat 🕳️

Sentiment Gauge Stuck At "Extreme Fear" Because It Was Never Built To Measure People This Calm 😐️

After $1B in liquidations over 24 hours, it's clear there is no fear

Altcoin Hodlers Find Comfort Knowing Everyone Else Also Looks Like They Licked A Battery 🔋

There's comfort in knowing everything and everyone is sour and slightly tangy

Report: Altcoins Upgraded From 'Do Not Resuscitate' To 'Try The Shock Paddle Things' 🏥

A handful of alts are looking a lot better

Altcoins Ask Market To Stop Threatening Them And Just Do It Already 🕛️

Waiting, and more waiting, and, what's this? More waiting.

Came For The Awards, Stayed For The Pump 💪

You know it's a good time when you wake up more drunk than when you went to bed. Reportedly. Something I heard.

Where The Dynamite Is Buried: A 30-Day Funding Tour 🧨

What people are doing in the perps markets can tell us a lot

DeFi United: Aave Passes Around The Hat 🎩

It's like a GoFundMe without a GoFundMe

So Bullish I Thanked The Self Checkout Machine 👍️

Well, The New Fed Chair Is A Degen 😱

Money speaks and Warsh's money says degen

Well, Hello Altcoins 👋

Still risky. Still weird. But at least now it looks survivable.

My Confidence In This Confidence Is More Confident Than My Last Confidence 😐️

A fresh burst of market confidence has arrived, which would feel better if confidence itself didn’t have such a rich history of lying.

Bulls Are Doing Pushups In The Middle Of The Highway Again 🐂

New Format! Well, new-ish. Let me know what you think.

🏖️The Spring Break Destination Guide: How Your Crypto Actually Performs in April 🏖️

This was too much fun to write, no one should have this much fun being a nerd.

The SEC Brought The CFTC To Dinner And They Ordered A 68-Page Joint Rule 📏

Your guide to the big joint SEC/CFTC crypto reveal.