It’s Chad’s Fault. Thanks Chad 😡

Looking At Castles What Were You Thinking

Nobody Got Liquidated This Week Because There Was Nothing Left to Liquidate 😶

OMG obviously there were some liquidations, chill

My Portfolio Is Love-Bombing Me With A Two-Percent Bounce 🌹

I have seen this behavior before. It ended with margin calls.

Today’s Market Forecast: Yes, No, Maybe, Refresh 💹

The only confirmed trend is refreshing.

It's Not Ethereum's Birthday 🎂

Ethereum Isn't Eleven. It's Ten And Wearing Its Mom's Name

Watching Bread Mold Is More Exciting 🍞

Waiting. Waiting. Waiting. Waiting.

Crypto, Invented To Escape Central Banking, Now Waiting Fed Meeting 🤦

Let the waiting game begin.

From Doom Scrolling To Yacht Shopping In Two Days 🤯

Nothing changes financial planning quite like two green candles.

Crypto Has Entered Its “Don’t Make Eye Contact” Phase 👀

If you don't look at it, maybe things can just keep going a little more a little longer

Hope Is Back Like A Drunk Uncle With A Pontoon ⛴️

Outboard motor goes brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

Crypto Feels Like A Patient That Can Eat Solid Food Again 🍴

Nobody order the steak. We are still testing applesauce.

Gains Had The Shelf Life Of A Sparkler 🎇

The Cookout Ended And So Did The Rally

Crypto's July, Graded Like Fireworks 🎆

Historical July performance, but they're fireworks reviews

Crypto Is Up But Not Emotionally Available 🛋️

A small bounce, a big sigh, and zero emotional growth.

Is... Is That... Green? 😲

There is a color other than red on the screen today

Market Sends One 'Hey Stranger' And Man Deletes The Eleven-Paragraph Breakup Speech He'd Been Perfecting For Two Weeks 📆

Hear Ye, Hear Ye - The Screen Doth Run Green This Day 🥳

Feelings of merry-adjacent moods do rise today

Local Altcoin Volunteers To Go First So The Rest Can Watch What Happens 👷

Will it, won't it, will it, won't it, will it, won't it?

Everyone Is Just Waiting For The CPI ⌚️

It's just a waiting game until we have an idea what happens with rates hikes post CPI data

Market Improves From ‘Please No’ To ‘Okay Maybe’ In Stunning Emotional Breakthrough 🥲

Hodlers praised the progress while quietly leaving one hand near the emergency button.

A Letter To Everyone Watching Red

What has been will be again, there is nothing new under the sun

Coast Guard Suspends Search For Bottom, Cites Lack Of Visibility 🚣‍♂️

We've been here before, and it always sucks as much as it did last time

So, That Sucks 🤷

But at least altcoins are not sucking as bad as Bitcoin

Man Who Said Sell Your Kidney Before Bitcoin Sells 32 BTC, Keeps Both Kidneys 🫘

I mean, to be fair, he didn't mean his kidney

Sentiment Gauge Stuck At "Extreme Fear" Because It Was Never Built To Measure People This Calm 😐️

After $1B in liquidations over 24 hours, it's clear there is no fear