OVERVIEW

From Pumps To Probes 😱

Before we dive in, here’s today’s crypto market heatmap:

And here’s a look at crypto’s total market and altcoin market cap charts:

NEWS
Wouldn’t Be Crypto If There Wasn’t Some Insider Shenanigans 🤦

The WSJ says the SEC and FINRA just gate-crashed corporate America’s latest hobby: stuffing balance sheets with Bitcoin and calling it “strategy.” More than 200 firms are under the microscope after their stocks magically pumped hours or days before announcing flashy crypto-treasury deals. 🙄 

What’s Going On

• Over 200 companies have been contacted by regulators about their crypto-treasury announcements.

• Stocks of some firms spiked 20–40% before announcements, with clustered buy orders raising red flags.

• Targets include everything from Trump Media (DJT) and GameStop (GME) to Bitmine and obscure biotechs that suddenly found religion in crypto.

• The SEC is laser-focused on Regulation Fair Disclosure (Reg FD), which requires material info be shared with everyone equally.

The timing is a little too convenient. Firms announced BTC, ETH, or SOL purchases, but their charts looked like someone already knew. FINRA has been rifling through broker emails, chats, and calls to trace leaks. Meanwhile, the SEC is wagging its finger, warning that selective disclosures won’t fly. 🕊️ 

Case In Point: This Sui Stonk

There once was a small Minnesota specialty finance lending firm called Mill City Ventures. It had an out of nowhere +38% gap up on a Friday, that continued into a +218% gain.

And then the next Monday, the announcement that Mill City Ventures’ ticker was changing to $SUIG ( ▲ 1.55% ) after a $450M private placement for a $SUI.X ( ▲ 2.0% ) treasury, run by Galaxy Asset Management.

Probably just a coincidence… 🤔 

Rules Better Be Followed

Crypto-treasuries aren’t fringe anymore. Over $100 billion has been raised in 2025. Venture capital has already thrown another $20 billion into DATs (Digital Asset Treasuries) this year.

Regulators are treating this like a stress test for crypto’s integration with Wall Street. If firms can’t play by basic disclosure rules, expect fines, trading bans, or worse. 😨 

NEWS
Forget The Sheriff Of Nottingham, Robinhood’s Biggest Threat Is A Cephalopod 🦑

If you didn’t hear, the oldest US crypto exchange, Kraken, just raised $500M with a $15B valuation. And if you thought Kraken is just a crypto exchange, well, you’ve been missing out.

Kraken’s been around since 2011 and they’ve been through, well, everything bad that could happen. And not just all the macro market stuff, Kraken itself has spent almost its entire existance attacked by Uncle Sam and individual States.

Without getting into the nitty gritty of what they’ve done, they’ve made a number of acquisitions in the last 14 years that have expanded their ability to offer services in other countries, gain MiCA compliance in the EU, etc.

And 2025 has been the culmination of Kraken finally converting from just a crypto exchange and OTC desk to a multi-market trading behemoth. Just this year Kraken added:

• US stocks and ETFs

• Tokenized US stocks and ETFs (outside the US only, boo)

• 24/7 FX perps

But it’s the NinjaTrader play this year that makes Kraken a hugenormous threat to $HOOD ( ▼ 0.71% ).

The NinjaTrader Play Is Yuge

As an old school futures trader, I’m very familiar with NinjaTrader. They’re big. And I mean 2 million-ish customers/users big, nearly a million are active. I really can’t stress enough the significance how big of a deal it is that Kraken bought NinjaTrader.

Oh ya. It cost Kraken $1.5 billion - easily the biggest acquisition they’ve ever made.

As a result of the NinjaTrader purchase, one of the most used technical analysis platforms with a stupidly huge amount of 3rd part integrations is now under Krakens wing tentacle(s). And futures trading is already available (except for those of us who have NinjaTrader accounts already when is this getting fixed, talking to you Kraken).

Can’t wait to see what further wins Kraken stacks to end 2025.

Kraken’s IPO is expected sometime in 2026. 📆 

RUMORS
Never Say Never? 🤔

I’ve been in crypto long enough to see the majority of the biggest TradFi people ignore, dismiss and then flat out put a target on Bitcoin’s back - only to then turn around and change their minds (BlackRock, JP Morgan, Visa, etc).

One of the biggest holdouts is Vanguard. But that might be changing. At least, that’s the rumor. There’s a crap ton of posts on X and Stocktwits with variations of this:

Crypto new and socials are packed with repeating reports that Vanguard is going in on Bitcoin. In some capacity. Maybe. Possibly. According to someone. Somewhere. That is familiar with stuff.

So it’s just a rumor, nothing official. Yes. 📙 

NEWS IN THREE SENTENCES
AI, Stablecoins, & Privacy News 🕵️

💍 CUDIS Puts Your Health Data on Sui, Ring Included

CUDIS is rolling out its longevity protocol on Sui, pairing wearables and AI with Walrus and Seal to anchor health data onchain. Users get control, loyalty perks, and even a limited-edition Sui-branded ring that’s basically a Fitbit with staking energy. Finally, proof that blockchain can track more than just your degeneracy. Sui.

🕵️ Brave Researchers Show LLMs Can Still Leak Your Secrets

Brave and NUS researchers introduced CAMIA, a new attack that spots when LLMs memorize training data and spit it back under the right prompt. By tracking uncertainty token by token, it nearly doubles accuracy over old methods and exposes where leakage actually happens. In other words, your chatbot might know more about your emails than your boss does. Basic Attention Token.

NEWS IN THREE SENTENCES
Real World Asset Tokenization 🪙 

📊 Centrifuge Drops First Tokenized S&P 500 Index Fund

SPXA, a licensed S&P 500 tracker, just went live on Base thanks to Centrifuge, Janus Henderson, and S&P Dow Jones Indices. FalconX anchored the launch, with Wormhole handling future multichain expansion, bringing equities into the same onchain basket as treasuries and credit. It’s Wall Street’s favorite benchmark - now wrapped, tokenized, and tradable 24/7. Centrifuge.

NEWS IN THREE SENTENCES
DeFi, DEX, & Lending News 🏦

📈 Re7 Labs Launches Yield Aggregator on Starknet

Re7’s new vaults automate liquidity farming on Ekubo pools, rebalancing positions in real time so users don’t have to babysit APR charts. Built on audited Trove infra with Re7’s proprietary strategies, it’s essentially “deposit once, yield forever” for Starknet. The pitch: make DeFi yield boring enough that normal humans might actually use it. Starknet.

⚖️ YieldBasis Extends Curve’s Model to Kill Impermanent Loss

Curve-style ve-lockers and gauges just got an upgrade with YieldBasis, a protocol designed on Aragon OSx that attacks impermanent loss head-on. BTC pools launch first, letting holders earn rewards and govern emissions without watching their liquidity positions rot. Think Curve economics, but with a safety net for the biggest LP pain point. Aragon.

🏦 Nest’s nBasis Vault Brings RWA Yield to Plasma

Nest’s market-neutral vault nBasis is live on Plasma, giving USDT holders access to 11.5% APY sourced from basis trades and tokenized treasuries. Backed by institutional partners like Superstate and Midas, it packages tradfi strategies in a plug-and-play vault. Plasma gets payments infra, Nest brings yield - finally, a tag team worth watching. Plume Network.

NEWS IN THREE SENTENCES
Protocol News 🏦

🧩 The Compact v1 Tries to Un-Fracture Cross-Chain Chaos

Uniswap’s crew just dropped The Compact, an ownerless ERC-6909 contract that turns messy cross-chain swaps into a system of reusable “resource locks.” Instead of every protocol duct-taping its own escrow, developers get allocators, arbiters, and tribunals that make commitments credible without surrendering custody. Call it the IKEA flat-pack of cross-chain primitives - assemble once, reuse everywhere. Uniswap.

LINKS
Links That Don’t Suck 🔗

🦈 'Baby Shark' token on Story Protocol drops 90% as brand-owner denies authorization

🇪🇺 European Banks show interest in Euro stablecoin amid global race: Elliptic

🤷 CEXs vs Perp DEXs: Who will win? Experts weigh in

🐋 Ethereum whales double down as market pulls back

🤖 Stony Brook researchers teach robots to see around corners

🎮️ ROG Xbox Ally Pre-Order Guide - How to get Xbox gaming on the go

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Author Disclosure: The author of this newsletter holds positions in ADA, IMX, COPI, MIN, AGIX, ALGO, ZEC, XLM, and NEAR. 📋