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Crypto Wants Trust. Its CashApp Says “Don’t Tell Your Wife.” 😶

The candles turned green, but now there's an odd alibi.

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OVERVIEW

Crypto Wants Trust. Its Cash App Says “Don’t Tell Your Wife.” 😶

Here’s What’s Happening 👇️

NEWS
Do You Ichimoku? ☁️

Last Friday’s newsletter was all about charts and identifying levels of resistance and support going into the weekend. Let’s look at a couple and see how they’re doing. 👀 

Top: August 22 AVAXUSD Daily Chart, Bottom: August 25 AVAXUSD Daily Chart - Click to enlarge.

The weekly Kijun-Sen was identified as as probable source of resistance for Avalanche if it kept creeping higher. It did get halted against that level, but it has also found support against the Tenkan-Sen and Kijun-Seun.

Top: August 22 XRPUSD Daily Chart, Bottom: August 25 XRPUSD Daily Chart - Click to enlarge.

Because XRP hadn’t closed above the daily yet on Friday, I looked at the Weekly Kijun-Sen at $1.342 as the near-term resistance. Well, XRP closed above it and kept on moving. But then it got halted. Where? Right on the Monthly Tenkan-Sen at $1.70. And instead of a ‘normal’ return to equilibrium where we’d see the candlestick bodies return to the Tenkan-Sen, it certainly looks like we’re going to see a ‘hurry up and wait’ with XRP consolidating here and the averages catching up - a time based return to equilibrium.

If anything more dramatic and/or important happens with the other tickers we looked at on Friday, I’ll make sure to update them. 🧠

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Cash flow is improving.

Contracts are getting longer and more visible - with several next-gen reactor projects targeting deployment between 2026 and 2028.

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NEWS
Chainlink Is Playing A Different Sport 😯

$COIN ( ▲ 4.28% ) selected $LINK ( ▼ 3.09% ) as the official oracle infrastructure for its tokenized stocks on Base. NVDAc, AAPLc, METAc, GOOGLc, and others now get continuous pricing through Chainlink Data Feeds. ⛓️ 

That lets DeFi protocols use the stocks for lending, borrowing, trading, collateral, and structured products. Each token is backed 1:1 by an underlying share held with Alpaca under Abu Dhabi’s ADGM framework.

Just throw this onto the growing pile of wins for Chainlink. Chainlink keeps getting hired to, well, do stuff that works. Coinbase needs tokenized equities priced? Chainlink. Banks need cross-chain settlement infrastructure? Chainlink. Institutions need data, proof of reserves, interoperability, and compliance plumbing. Chainlink.

There are other oracle competitors. Technically. In the same way a local go-kart track competes with Formula 1. 🏎️ 

NEWS
Zcash Gets ETF & NYSE Love 💘

As long as we’re talking about winners, here’s another. 🥇 Grayscale’s Zcash ETF, $ZCSH ( ▼ 1.7% ) , began trading today. It is the first exchange-traded product anywhere offering spot exposure to $ZEC ( ▼ 5.32% ) . 😱

From Privacy Coin To Public Ticker

ZCSH gives investors access through regular brokerage accounts. No wallets. No private keys. No test transaction followed by 14 minutes of staring at a block explorer with your leg shaking up down so much a family member, friend, or a complete stranger might have concerns about your neurological health.

Some stats from Grayscale’s prospectus:

  • $313.5 million in assets at launch

  • 387,212 ZEC held by the fund

  • 4.83 million shares outstanding

  • 0.08018 ZEC per share

  • 2.50% annual management fee (wtf)

  • Coinbase Custody handling the assets

  • BNY serving as fund administrator

It’s technically an ETP, not a traditional 1940 Act ETF. It passively holds ZEC and tracks its value minus fees and expenses. Grayscale also says 100% of management fees will support Zcash development and ZCSH marketing for up to 12 months.

Oh, and incase you forgot, Zcash has absolutely exploded in interest and price action:

ZECUSD Daily Chart - Click to enlarge.

It’s up +2,000% YoY, +60% YTD, had it’s hightest weekly close in it’s history last week, and was just $14 short of returning to it’s ATH of $900 on Sunday. 🤯

NEWS
Automated Token Portfolios, You Say? 🤔

File this under awesome and cool: Bitwise launched Automated Token Portfolios, or ATPs, using Coinbase’s tokenized stocks and Glider’s automatic rebalancing technology. 🪂

Basically, Bitwise publishes the portfolio model and investors copy it inside their own wallets. Glider handles the rebalancing while the assets remain under the investor’s custody.

It’s like a DYI ETF.

What Is In The Box?

The first ATPs will roll out over the coming weeks:

  • Mag7X: The Magnificent Seven plus SpaceX. Eight companies. Math takes another beating.

  • Robotics: Tesla, Nvidia, Amazon, and other robotics and autonomous-systems companies.

  • AI Leaders: Nvidia, Microsoft, Alphabet, Meta, Amazon, SpaceX, Tesla, and Sandisk.

  • Methodology fee: 0.15%, excluding trading costs and Glider platform fees.

  • Availability: Eligible investors outside the United States.

Investors retain direct custody and may eventually use the assets across DeFi for lending, borrowing, or collateral. That introduces liquidation risk and several innovative new ways to wreck an otherwise decent Tuesday.

Still, the structure is clever. No pooled fund. No surrendering custody. The portfolio model comes directly to the wallet.

Yeah. I want this. Naturally, because I live in the US, I cannot have it. Why? Because I’m just going to assume it’s a hell of a lot easier for entities like Bitwise to launch off shore than a place like here in the US. Land of free markets, subject to registration, exemptions, jurisdictional restrictions, and 600 pages of paperwork.

I don’t think it would take a GENIUS to figure out some CLARITY on this issue so this stuff doesn’t keep happening…🤦 

NEWS IN THREE SENTENCES
AI, Stablecoins, & Privacy News 🕵️

💳 Casper Gives Payouts.com Agents A Settlement Rail

Payouts.com is integrating Casper as a primary settlement layer for AgentWallet and Digital Employees. Payouts defines what an AI agent may spend and under which conditions; Casper settles approved x402 payments using csprUSD and predictable transaction costs. Implementation is underway with a phased rollout. Casper Network.

🤖 Virtuals Brings Revenue-Sharing AI Agents To Solana

Virtuals has opened ownership of its autonomous agents to Solana users. Each agent can raise capital, set transaction taxes, fund its own intelligence, and trade through a dedicated wallet, with earnings shared among owners. That is the stated model; whether the agents earn anything worth sharing remains the useful part of the experiment. Virtuals.

🚰 Celo Opens A Stablecoin Faucet For Verified Humans

Self and Google Cloud have launched a gasless USA₮ faucet on Celo for verified adults outside sanctioned countries. Zero-knowledge checks confirm eligibility without sending raw identity data, then distribute 0.5 USA₮. Users can earn another 0.2 by transferring it and 0.3 by holding at least 5 USA₮ in Valora for ten days. Celo.

🌐 UNDP And DFINITY Test Sovereign AI For Public Services

UNDP and DFINITY have signed a 12-month agreement to test sovereign cloud and agentic AI across country offices, civil-society groups, and government pilots. The work will run on DFINITY’s Cloud Engines with OpenSaaS and support custom applications built using outside AI tools. Public-sector AI now gets a trial run without automatically mailing the keys to Big Cloud. Internet Computer.

OLD NEWS
Crypto Stuff That Happened Today, But A Long Time Ago 📜

Here’s what was happening in the newsletter a year ago today:

  • Grayscale filed to convert its AVAX trust into an ETF - making Avalanche the fifth 2025 trust-conversion request after XRP, Solana, Litecoin, and Dogecoin.

  • Strategy softened its MSTR issuance promise - the company removed its “no common issuance below 2.5x mNAV” language, then sold 875,301 shares while mNAV was around 1.59x.

  • RWA stories kept spreading - Matrixdock launched tokenized gold on Sui, Plume argued TVL is a garbage metric without real users, and REtokens launched a FINRA-approved secondary market for tokenized real estate.

OLD NEWS
Other Stuff That Happened Today, But A Long, Long Time Ago ⌛️

August 25

  • 1258 - On the traditionally accepted date, Byzantine soldiers murder regent George Mouzalon and his brothers inside a monastery.

  • 1270 - French King Louis IX dies of disease outside Tunis during the disastrous Eighth Crusade.

  • 1609 - Galileo formally presents his telescope to the Venetian Senate.

  • 1825 - Uruguay declares independence from Brazil, helping trigger the 500-day Cisplatine War.

  • 1916 - Woodrow Wilson signs the law creating the U.S. National Park Service.

  • 1931 - Levees fail near Gaoyou, China, killing an estimated 10,000 to 15,000 people overnight.

  • 1939 - The Wizard of Oz opens nationwide after earlier regional premieres.

  • 1941 - Britain and the Soviet Union jointly invade neutral Iran.

  • 1944 - Paris is liberated after its German commander refuses Hitler’s order to destroy the city.

  • 1950 - President Truman orders the U.S. Army to take control of the nation’s railroads.

  • 1991 - Linus Torvalds publicly announces the hobby project that becomes Linux.

  • 2012 - Voyager 1 becomes the first human-made object to enter interstellar space.

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Author Disclosure: The author of this newsletter holds positions in AVAX, ADA, PUDGY, WLD, NEAR, INJ, LTC, LINK, ZEC, XLM, and FET. 📋